TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY — Monday, March 31st — ALL WELCOME!
It was a matter of my father passing away before I decided I would pursue transitioning. In hindsight I was very naive about what my father was capable of understanding and what he wasn't. I had to keep in mind, since I started working in clothing, I started cross-dressing exclusively and rather flamboyantly, to the fact where my father would sometimes borrow my ties, so it wasn't a matter of not being accepted. I brought women home, at the time I was much more interested in pursuing women than men, romantically as well as sexually. (He) didn't blink. I'm sure in their minds at least I was queer if nothing else. No, I don't think they would have taken it necessarily to the next step to say I was someone that felt they were the wrong gender or assigned the wrong gender, but I don't think it would have been too far fetched to understand. I think I couldn't get there with my father myself.
Cole 63
Washington DC
$2,400
Hahnemuhle luster print 24x36 — 5 of 5
I would not let people talk to me sideways. I was always fighting. After that moment I stuck up for myself more, I didn't let nobody come across me wrong. I was known as a fighter, the person with the slick mouth. I try not to do it anymore. People like to underestimate, they see me being a skinny girl, "That's a man." Little do they know, this "man'' has hands that will F you up. Don't disrespect me, I'm out here living my life. Because you don't understand me doesn't mean I have to explain anything to you.
Guys are like, "You're pretty as fuck!" But once they know that I'm a trans woman, "I don't go that way. I'm straight, I'm not gay." How does that make you gay to be attracted to a woman? Just because I wasn't born woman. There's women out here that can't have children, there's women out here that can’t have periods. Women out here that can't do things trans women can't do. Are you gonna say the same things to them? Why can't you just admit that someone is pretty and move on, and not feel like your masculinity is gonna be affected?
Ayanna 26
Omaha, Nebraska
$1,800
Hahnemuhle luster print 18x27 — 5 of 5
It feels a little surreal because I never expected myself to be a business owner, to run a gym or train people, but it makes sense. Teaching people and giving people information is something I enjoy doing in general. Watching folks get really excited about themselves, folks that are family — queer, trans, POC — move through their body and feel so strong gives me life.
The gym is called Han Training. Han is a Korean term, it’s this concept of inter-generational grief and trauma and rage — angst that comes from oppression. It became even more hardcore of a term and a concept during the first Japanese occupation of Korea and grew from there. There’s a lot of quotes and theologians who write about Han and how Korean people are born of Han and it’s in our blood. It’s this overwhelming anger and rage, grief and sorrow that permeates through our people.
When I first found out about the term I was like, “This makes so much sense. I’m so angry all the time, about everything, the injustices.” Especially once the Georgia shooting happened, the one in Atlanta where the white dude shot a bunch of Asian women in the massage parlor. Getting that feeling of, “Oh my god, what the fuck!” And having had previous negative experiences with the cops and white people in general. “This is enough, I want my training to be more about taking the energy of Han.” Yes, it’s specific to Koreans but something we all understand so deeply how that feels. Just being queer or a person of color, we all have that underlying rage or grief about the traumas we suffered historically. We have this, I think we should use this to our advantage. We are so strong together, especially with the rage that we have, and channeling that into something that’s good for us but also feels like we are able to protect ourselves when we need to. We can be strong and we can kick some ass if we need to. In light of everything that’s going on, you never know.
Minky 30
Chicago, Illinois
$1,600
Hahnemuhle luster print 18x27 — 5 of 5
When Eric went to Las Vegas, I got my certification. Then the next year, I bought an airplane. It's expensive to own a plane, that plane is still my baby. I think mostly that was an attempt, as he was pulling back finding things to do by himself, I was trying to find things that we could do together. As he kept pulling apart, I kept associating him with flying and aviation. My friends, they're like, "How do you have an airplane and not go fly it today? It’s a beautiful day!" I'm trying to find my new reason to fly. My reason to fly was him. I'm steadily, slowly disassociating him from that plane.
Amber 46
McAlester, Oklahoma
$2,300
Hahnemuhle luster print 24x36 — 4 of 5
When I envision myself, I don't look like what I see in the mirror. I want to be more toned. More weight. Bigger. I want to be strong. I may not know exactly who I am, but I'm comfortable not knowing. So now my focus is just on figuring out.
When people will just assume that I'm transitioning to become a man, they're like, "If you want everyone to know you as a guy, why do you still paint your nails? Are you just going to abandon the whole makeup thing?" I'm not abandoning anything. All of this is still a part of me.
Ziggy 20
Jackson, Mississippi
$2,000
Hahnemuhle luster print 20x30 — 5 of 5
Being Hijabi Muslim, you're suppose to live a chaste life. Spiritually I'm chaste. I'm not promiscuous, but always find myself in a promiscuous situation. The feeling of having to give your body to a man, to prove to him and yourself that you're woman enough. It's contradictory to the life I'm trying to live being Muslim. Will I be able to stand-out as a woman? It's that battle between femininity, being sexy, and being a pious woman.
I've never been in a relationship. I've been in toxic situations with men — you already know how heterosexual men treat transgender women. I've always been under some man's thumb. I can't say anything good. I have never been genuinely romanced, I've never been loved by a man. These men say, I'm woman enough. They say, I'm pretty enough, I'm loyal enough. I know how to take care of a man in a domestic aspect, so what's wrong with me? My life isn't where I thought it would be. I'm 27 and I'm living the life of a 15 year old girl trying to figure out how boys are.
Noor 27
Deltona, Florida
$2,000
Hahnemuhle luster print 20x30 — 5 of 5
Having a familiar face of someone who understands is really important. I take that seriously, as being one of the good ones when it comes to serving our communities. The [trans] community doesn't trust them. I'm fairly well known in Charleston, so members of the queer community will sometimes call or text me before they call 911. People know that they can call me, and I won't bullshit them, I'll let them know their other options. Calling the police, that's your last resort, that's when you run out of options.
I can remember the times when we've had to call 911 at my house growing up – I'm not trying to make somebody's day worse. I have to be very careful about being so vocal with my displeasure of how everything is. After the 2016 election, first time I bought an American flag, I flew it upside down from my truck. I got followed around by cops in the same area that I worked in. I got called into the office for making political statements that were inflammatory. It's a free fucking country and I can say whatever I want but getting followed around and harassed by an agency that I work at, I have to be very careful. Being in the South, this is a very red state. I'm doing this tango.
KJ 30
Charleston, South Carolina
$2,150
Hahnemuhle luster print 20x30 — 5 of 5
I don't pretend to be 100% anything. I prefer to give priority to the feminine. I don't think I'm purely feminine. Even a woman is not purely feminine. I don't pretend to achieve the perfection of femininity. I started late for everything, that was frustrating for me. I got out of the closet and only entered a bigger closet. I was a very tormented person until I told the world, “Hey, treat me like a girl! I'm a girl, that's how I feel.” What the fuck was I so afraid of?
Mica Ella 65
New York, New York
$2,000
Hahnemuhle luster print 20x30 — 5 of 5
It's been really helpful coming into my own as far as my own identity, my own comfort, but it's also Wisconsin so there's been times I've been assaulted for my gender-identity, physically. People take pictures of me on the street, people videotape me without my consent from their cars. I generally wear headphones when I walk anywhere because people will yell at me out of their car windows. It's very jarring.
There's so much vitriol and hate and exclusion within the community for trans people. I already forged my way as a gay man for so many years in this community where I was accepted, but as soon as I try and go in a different direction that's more self-affirming, then that somehow makes everyone forget what they've gone through themselves like, That's different, I don't like it. Let's unpack that. Let's figure out where that's coming from? Why are you like that?
Christopher 28
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
$2,300
Hahnemuhle luster print 20x30.— 5 of 5
Toxic masculinity – especially in the Black community – it's a lot of, “Oh she tricked me and now I'm mad and my boys saw and now I'm embarrassed and now I gotta go fucking beat this bitch up.” You don't have to do anything. You don't have to act, you weren't tricked. I'm doing me. I'm out here for myself, this has nothing to do with you. You are a cameo appearance in the movie that is my life. You have no lines. You are not a supporting character.
The toxic masculinity thing, that's one thing that grinds my gears. I have met so many heterosexual identifying men. You're not a homosexual if you're attracted to trans women, at the end of the day we're still women. Heterosexual men are attracted to beautiful things, that's what gets them. Beautiful house, beautiful settings, beautiful cars, beautiful women. Curves, smelling pretty, lips, all of that shit. I have those things. You're attracted to them because you're a heterosexual male.
Paulie 35
San Diego, California
$2,000
Hahnemuhle luster print 20x30 — 5 of 5
My sourness towards cis men is partial jealousy. I definitely have jealousy towards cis men, there's nothing wrong with it. They have what we don't have from birth so there's this natural jealousy there. Every trans man that I have personally met – [who’s] binary – they've had a moment of jealousy. "Why do they have a dick and I don't? Why do they have chest hair and I can't grow it? Why do they have a beard?" Which I think is very natural. For me, that jealousy only comes up during dating. I don't have that jealousy walking around. I mean, I can cross my legs and not pinch anything, I can ride a horse and not have to worry about my junk. I honestly have no problem with my body since my tits were removed. Until I date and they say, "What do I call it? A vagina, a pussy, a mini-dick?”
Hollister 37
San Diego, California
$2,200
Hahnemuhle luster print 20x30 — 4 of 5
My dad and his girlfriend came home one day, we were all having a dance party. She said I was trying to make her son gay by dancing to Beyonce. My family is so homophobic and they actually had me arrested for indecency with her child. I had no money for court and I had a public defender. They sentenced me for three years, that was the roughest time of my life.
I was raped twice, I got hit in the face with a rock inside a sock and he distorted my face. I have gotten beat up multiple times. The guys in there are all crazy. You take these thugs, these gang members and they're really serious and very dangerous people, and you have these
transgenders living with them.
I didn't come out to my family as trans until I was in prison for a year. I told them, "I'm trans, my name is Alayla Allison Flemings and I love you guys so much. I hope that you can love me just the same." They stopped sending me money, stopped writing me. They stopped answering my calls. Eight months of nothing. When you're in a place like that, you have to have money to survive and so I had to rely on my body and my charm to find somebody to take care of me.
Alli 24
Fayetteville, Arkansas
$2,000
Hahnemuhle luster print 20x30 — 5 of 5
The suit was always itchy but I never knew I could get out of it. Being in seminary and hanging out with all these gay men, it was like, “Oh, these are my people,” but not quite. A friend would later say to me, “Until you start taking T, you don't smell right.” The other thing too is that there's sort of the queer line, and there's the ordination line. I had both of those itchy things, and the gender thing I didn't know how to fix, but the ordination thing I knew how to fix. So that was the one I sort of dealt with, although the gender thing kept showing up.
Kit 63
Sanbornville, New Hampshire
$2,100
Hahnemuhle luster print 20x30 — 5 of 5
We don't really have to work for it. As Two-Spirit people here on the reservation, we don't really have to work to be seen. We all have a job to fill, we all work, we all pay bills. As long as you're getting your stuff done, you're fine to do whatever you'd like. I know there's people on the reservation here that don't see it that way. But everybody else that I've known and I've talked to about things, they’re like, “I like seeing you out there dancing.” They like seeing that Two-Spirit people or LGBT people are coming back to the circle.
I'm not dancing for myself. I'm dancing for the people. I'm dancing for those individuals, those LGBT people or those Two-Spirit people that can't dance. Those up-and-coming people, up-and-coming young ones, those are who I am dancing for. My main thing is, being a representative to our community, being in my space and enjoying myself. Just having fun and not always having to look over my shoulder.
Spirit Wildcat 40
Fort Hall Reservation, Idaho
$2,500
Hahnemuhle luster print 20x30 — 4 of 5